The Schlicken Empire

I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars

I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars

Look at me, look at me
hands in the air like it’s good to be
ALIVE
and I’m a famous rapper
even when the paths’re all crookedy
I can show you how to do-si-do
I can show you how to scratch a record
I can take apart the remote control
And I can almost put it back together
I can tie a knot in a cherry stem
I can tell you about Leif Ericson
I know all the words to “De Colores”
And “I’m Proud to be an American”
Me and my friend saw a platypus
Me and my friend made a comic book
And guess how long it took
I can do anything that I want cuz, look:

I can keep rhythm with no metronome
No metronome
No metronome

I can see your face on the telephone
On the telephone
On the telephone

Look at me
Look at me
Just called to say that it’s good to be
ALIVE
In such a small world
All curled up with a book to read
I can make money open up a thrift store
I can make a living off a magazine
I can design an engine sixty four
Miles to a gallon of gasoline
I can make new antibiotics
I can make computers survive aquatic conditions
I know how to run a business
And I can make you wanna buy a product
Movers shakers and producers
Me and my friends understand the future
I see the strings that control the systems
I can do anything with no assistance
Cuz I can lead a nation with a microphone
With a microphone
With a microphone
And I can split the atoms of a molecule
Of a molecule
Of a molecule

Look at me
Look at me
Driving and I won’t stop
And it feels so good to be
Alive and on top
My reach is global
My tower secure
My cause is noble
My power is pure

I can hand out a million vaccinations
Or let’em all die from exasperation
Have’em all healed from their lacerations

*or Have’em all killed by assassination
I can make anybody go to prison
Just because I don’t like’em and
I can do anything with no permission
I have it all under my command
I can guide a missile by satellite
By satellite
By satellite
and I can hit a target through a telescope
Through a telescope
Through a telescope
and I can end the planet in a holocaust

In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust

I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handle bars
No handlebars

I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars

She says I remind her of her father and I know she likes it
She wants a man thats got his game locked tight
I think she reminds me of my mother and she knows i like it
I want a woman with the same brown eyes

And girl you got it, so bad
When the only boy you know is your dad
And boy you got it, so wrong
When you look into her eyes and all you really see is your mom

Ohhhh

Cuz your a Momma’s boy, Momma’s boy
(instrumental)

She tried to take me to the movies, but I couldn’t enjoy it
I didn’t even let her sneak a touch
She asked me whats the problem, maybe we can talk about it
Your thinking about your mother way to much

And you got it, so bad
When the only boy you know is your dad
And boy you got it, so wrong
When you look into her eyes and all you really see is your mom

Woooaah

Cuz your a Momma’s boy, Momma’s boy, Momma’s boy, Momma’s boy, your a Momma’s boy, Momma’s boyyy

Yaaaaaah

Your just a Momma’s boy

Your just a Momma’s boy

Your just a Momma’s boy

Your just a (Owww)
(instrumental)

She says I remind her of her father and I know she likes it

She wants a man thats got his game locked tight

Monday Morning Music Video – Jason Mraz – “I’m Yours”

“I’m Yours”

Well you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you’re so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks
and now I’m trying to get back
Before the cool done run out
I’ll be giving it my bestest
Nothing’s going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it’s again my turn to win some or learn some

I won’t hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I’m yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you’re free
Look into your heart and you’ll find love love love
Listen to the music of the moment maybe sing with me
A la peaceful melodies
It’s your God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love love

So I won’t hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I’m sure
There’s no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I’m yours

I’ve been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and laughed
I guess what I’m saying is there ain’t no better reason
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
It’s what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue

I won’t hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I’m sure
No need to complicate
Our time is short
It can not wait, I’m yours

Well no no, well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you’re free
Look into your heart and you’ll find love love love love
Listen to the music of the moment come and dance with me
A la one big family (2nd time: A la happy family)
It’s your God-forsaken right to be loved love love love

I won’t hesitate no more
Oh no more no more no more
It’s your God-forsaken right to be loved, I’m sure
There’s no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I’m yours

No I won’t hesitate no more, no more
This cannot wait I’m sure
There’s no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I’m yours, I’m yours

Monday Morning Music Video – Flight of the Conchords – “Ladies of the World”

“Ladies of the World”

J: Ooohhh….ooooh….
I just wanna, I just wanna
B: Just wanna do something special for all the Ladies in the World
J: Oh yes (J)
B: Just wanna do somethin’ special
J: Ah (J)
B: For all the Ladies in the world
J: Is that possible? (J)
B: And the gir-rls
Don’t forget them girls
J: Caribbean
B: (Ladies)
J: Parisian
B: (Ladies)
J: Bolivian
B: (Ladies)
J: Namibian
B: (Ladies)
J: Eastern Indochinian
B: (Ladies)
J: Republic of Dominican
B: (Ladies)
J: Amphibian
B: (Ladies)
J: Presbyterian
B: (Ladies)
J: Outta sight
B: Amazin’ ladies
J: Late night
B: Hard workin’ ladies
J: Erudite
B: Brainy ladies
J: Hermaphrodite
B: Lady-man-ladies
J: Oh you sexy hermaphrodite lady-man-ladies
With your sexy lady bits
And your sexy man bits too
Even you must be in to you ooo ooo
B+J: All the ladies in the world
I wanna get next to you
Show you some gratitude
By makin’ love to you it’s the least we can do…
B+J: If every soldier in the wo-orld
Put down his weapon and picked up a woman
What a peaceful world this world would be-eee…
B+J: Redheads not warheads
Blondes not bombs
We’re talkin’ about brunettes not fighter jets
J: Oooh Oooh it’s got to be Sweet 16’s not M-16’s
When will the governments realize it’s got to be funky sexy ladies?
B: I have a vision and all I can see
Is all of you with ‘a all of me
In a world of peace and harmony
Where every lady gets a little piece of Bret-y
J: I’ve been to Paris, Wellington and Amsterdam
And a wham-bam, Merci, Danke, thank ‘a you ma’m
I don’t care if you’re ugly or you’re skanky or you’re small
I just wanna do a little something special for y’all…
B + J:All the ladies, in the world, you deserve it, Girrrrrrl…